What a photo!

This picture is of our nephew, Aidan and our puppy, Maggie playing over Labor Day weekend. They were really enjoying the similar sizes of each other. This is just the best picture ever and thought you would all like to see it.

We've Got the Results Right Here...

Sara and I recently added "Maury" to our TiVo list... very fun times, especially for paternity test shows (it helps not to think of the lives of young children hanging in the balance while you're watching.) I used to think that we lucked out that whenever we actually caught an episode, he happened to be doing paternity tests. Now that we TiVo every episode, it seems like he does it four days a week, if not more.

It's always the same script:

1. Maury on stage with crying mom.
2. Mom says she is some random percentage positive that the tested man is the baby's father (the percentage they give is always 110%, minimum. 180% is a popular number... no clue why.)
3. They show a picture of the child... audience says "awww".
4. They show the child's picture next to the "father's" picture, so the audience can agree that they look exactly alike. To assist, Mom usually goes up to the screen to point out details. Occasionally, she will point out how ugly the father is, and then show how her child has the same features as Dad.

5. Maury shows a video of how rough Mom's life is.
6. Dad appears on the screen from backstage. Mom yells at the screen.
7. Maury shows a video of Dad saying that he is some random percentage positive that the baby is not his. Also, Mom is a ho. Also, it is impossible the baby is his. The kid doesn't look anything like him. The baby, for example, is tiny, and he is not. Also, the baby frequently poops itself, whereas Dad only does so rarely.
8. Dad comes out. Crowd boos.

9. Mom picks up Dad's chair and moves it several yards further away before he has a chance to sit down; or, Dad moves his own chair several yards away.
10. Two minutes of arguing between Mom and Dad, entirely bleeped out by censors.
11. Maury announces that he has the test results!
12. "When it comes to 6-month-old Joe Jr.... Joe, you
a) ARE the father!"
b) are NOT the father!"

13. If he is the father, crowd screams "AAAAHHH!" Dad hangs head. Mom jumps up, taunts the father of her child.
14. If he isn't the father, crowd screams "OHHHHHH!" (This always happens. I don't know why they have a consistently different shout. Perhaps there are cue cards.) Man jumps up, taunts his poor single mother ex-girlfriend. Mom runs backstage and finds a corner to cry in. (Again, it helps not to think of the lives hanging in the balance on this show.) Not-Dad dances on stage, runs around the audience slapping high-fives with the other guys.

This happens four times a show. The one alternate, usually somewhere in the middle of the show, is given more dramatic build-up and has a somber tone. I have no idea how they choose ones to be somber and others to be circus-y.

Long story short, this is how I waste my evenings while Sara is in Boston. Fortunately, when she gets back, she'll be more than happy to help me continue to analyze the nuances of Maury.

The Alarm Clock with No Snooze Button

Ever since Sara went back out on the road on Saturday (if it's week three, it must be Boston), Maggie has stepped up her puppy antics to the next level. For several days in a row, she has jumped out of bed at exactly 4:40 a.m. She is done sleeping and is far too bored to sit still. First she barks and jumps up as if she's trying to get back up on the bed, but when I reach down to grab her, she runs away... really, she's just trying to get Sammy or me, or both, to get up and play.

If we ignore her yapping and jumping for long enough, she gives up... and goes to find a squeaky toy to chew on for the next half hour or so, until I give in and take both dogs for a walk (Sammy's pretty easygoing about things, thankfully... if I'm staying in bed, he'll stay in bed. If I take Maggie for a walk, he's up for that too.)

What I haven't figured out is, why 4:40? Is she hearing the Chronicle hit the doorstep? Or has she learned how to tell time? I'm guessing the second option

It's so good to be home

This morning I woke up in my own bed, I got to see my two pups and my husband. I couldn't be happier. I am just sad that I only have 6 days at home until I head out again to Boston, the time just goes by so fast. I am going to take in all the puppy kisses, sleeping in my own bed, not eating room service, and hanging out with my husband that I can before the next trip.

I should have known

I am in Austin, in my hotel room resting my feet from another long day of working. The conference is going great, attendance is spectacular and we are surviving. I truly think that Brett has given up on blogging so I should change the name of this blog to "Only Sara's Blog". I should have known that I would be the next one to post. I do hope that he is managing with the dogs and his busy work schedule. I can't wait to be home on Saturday.